Dholme, 50

Gaytheist Seeking Age 39. Technically bisexual, but mostly gay. Seeking friends and more.

Raised Catholic from birth. It never "took." I went through the motions for years because that was what was done but there was never any meaning in it for me. I decided one day in elementary school (a Catholic one) that I wanted to do those things (worship) for the right reasons or not at all. Not at all won that internal argument in seconds. So I went through the motions until I was old enough I figured I could get away with it. Then I phased out my participation. I couldn't bring myself to tell my mom, a devout Catholic, that I didn't believe and wished not to go to Mass anymore. So I went with her like usual and didn't fully participate. Didn't do this little thing. Then after awhile of that, stopped doing another little thing. Then another. Eventually, stopped doing something major. Mom figured it out and quietly accepted it. I never stopped doing the Sign of Peace. That would have been rude.

se---lly, I figured myself out after a 20 year struggle. I did not want to be this way. I never believed it was a choice but now I know firsthand. I tried so hard to be straight I drove myself into depression. I hope I'm not revealing too much and scaring you away.

Any other gaytheists out there?