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trollfacejesus
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Posted:     Post subject: [Insert creative/witty post topic here]

Hey everyone! I'm pretty new here, so I thought that I should introduce myself to you all. I'm not sure how many people will actually read this though, since this "introduce yourself" thread has been getting on average about .1 posts a day for the past couple of months... nevertheless, I think I want to tell you guys a little bit about myself anyway! Be warned though; when I write about myself, I can easily get carried away, so this might end up being insanely long. If you start to pass out from severe boredom, please seek entertainment therapy immediately; utilizing the services of a video game console or a nice book are a couple of good suggestions.

So, my name is Alex, and obviously, I'm not a very big fan of religion (mostly due to the fact that I'm on this site in the first place, not to mention the fact that even my username takes the Lord's name in vain). Aside from the occasional humorous story about a person getting trapped inside of a giant fish, talking snakes, and all of the other delightful material in various religious texts that would make for great fictional stories for small children, there isn't really anything positive or beneficial about religion whatsoever. Okay, they DO have some pretty awesome costumes and hats, so I'll give them that too.

I would classify myself as an Agnostic anti-theist, since I freely admit that I actually don't know for sure whether or not a God exists, but I'm fairly certain that there isn't one... there doesn't seem to be any sort of scientific proof of His existence, or even any logical arguments for that matter. If God comes strolling through my room while I'm writing this post though, perhaps I might change my mind about His existence, but even then, I would still be an anti-theist; even if He does exist, I still wouldn't be a follower of Him, since He doesn't seem like a very efficient, just or productive God. He doesn't even seem like a pleasant person/entity; I certainly wouldn't want to go out for a drink with the guy, that's for sure. He easily gets jealous, is a huge hypocrite, contradicts Himself quite frequently, and He tends to abuse and/or kill people whenever He gets butt-hurt over something, which definitely isn't the most reasonable way to resolve an issue. Imagine what would happen if a bartender accidentally brought Him a Stella instead of a Newcastle; He would grossly overreact by consuming that poor bartender in holy fire, and send him to Hell for all eternity, while I would be the embarrassed guy next to Him holding my head in my hands, wishing I had stayed home watching reruns of "The Twilight Zone" instead.

Anyway, that's enough about my views on religion for now; I'm sure that I'll post more about that in some other thread or something. Aside from the fact that I strongly dislike religion, I also strongly dislike spinach. I don't know why I told you all that fact, but it's quite true; I simply despise that God-awful, horrendous vegetable. Here are some things that I DO like though: I love to read books/poetry, write, play/listen to music (mostly metal, but I like just about everything), explore the wonders of nature and the Universe, ponder the meaning of life, eat food, sleep, daydream, play video games, tell horrible puns, spout internet memes and references, watch My Little Pony (yes, I'm a proud Brony... and just in case there is a fellow MLP fan reading this, Pinkie Pie is the best pony), and a bunch of other things. I could write all of my hobbies and interests, but it would make this already considerably-long post even longer, so I think I'll stop for now.

I really could go on forever, or at least for a couple of years, but I think this is enough for an introduction post. If I havn't bored you into a coma yet, and you actually think I'm a somewhat interesting and tolerable person, please don't hesitate to send me a message or something... I'm always down to converse about religion, philosophy, funny things, or pretty much anything else. I really look forward to talking to some of you guys! n_n

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former member default image - bird flying away
gearsofwarqueen
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Posted:     Post subject:

`All those things sounded awesome (apart from the spinach - goes great with feta, man - and the My Little Pony - ... - ). Though I would think that if God existed, it wouldn't be particularly interested in your hatred - or give a s--- in general. Of course, this view is a little biased as I base it on how I would act if I were God. I mean, come on.

I would sit up in my fluffy clouds, looking down upon you people, and I'd think "Geez, I gave you life and I spent a fortune on a big, shiny universe for you to play in, and you still want MORE? What a bunch of ungrateful, spoilt brats. Just kill each other and whine, for all I care." Then Jesus and I would share a laugh, because I imagine he'd have a slew of clingy mother issues, in order to continue hanging around after I strung him up, whipped him, and watched him die.

Sidetracked as that may be, the end of the line is... I guess, welcome to the forum?



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