There's no that bad anyway...

[kir0s]

I'm not an atheist but not a christian. I used to fear idea of God for years cause it seems formally demonic after moment my mother tried to make me religious, coming with me to the churches. (yeah so I felt myself in its society like them if they are entering a pagans' citadel considering this faith as pure evil) To be honest I didn't realized it seriously cause I was so stupid and unconcisious. In 2014 I determinately said my mom that I don't love it but she thought in her way shouting and acting like a hysteric B---- claiming she don't wanna know me because of it. My life was a struggle for my human rights and respect and I can't say it was so easy. Now I know I mess up with this s---. I remember the words my mumma was spoke 5 years ago and last time we visited church in 2018. Since that moment we moved to live in other place far from the city. I still feel an anger to her but she comes alone now in the church. But now I decided to be a buddhist after that s--- I went through (my life was s---ty last years believe me) though I ended up orthodox university. I believe in only one fact - if there's a God he doesn't mean to make me an angry pipsqueak - he was meant to make me stronger and bad-ass. But I don't want to follow lead of loser. Ideally I wanna help the people and help everybody who is upset and depressed. I love and want to be loved. Idea of God for me is concluding to idea of love and having happiness. Just a few years ago I imagined this fellow as cruel mother----er who is interested to break human's livings and send to hell for at least only one sin. But now my my point of view is definitely differs on todays day. We are all equal. having much more opportunities than we can imagine it. Of course we are under pressure of religious egregores but we're so might enough to resist them. There's no that bad anyway. He are responsible in what we want to believe. Everyone needs its own belief to save himself. Have a good day!